anaiD (anaid) wrote in svucc,
anaiD
anaid
svucc

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When Authors DESERVE Snark

Let me give you an example of this. Here below is a story for which i left a constructive review. i tried to be positive about what she had (even though it was more or less bullshit) so that she didn't feel like i was attacking her and in response, i got the following:


thank you for your interesting comment. nobody else has had a problem with it
well except you...

i will take your comment into suggestion. simply put if u dont like my writting
DONT READ IT


http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3076590/1/

the reason i'm the only one who had a problem with it is that evidently i'm the only person with brain cells who read it.

Simply put, if you don't like my review, DON'T WRITE ANYTHING ELSE.
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  • 11 comments
Hear that, Roger Ebert? If you don't like Glitter, don't watch it! It's not like the producers can learn from your critique and make a better movie next time.

Songfic: Check.
Comparing Olivia's Eyes to Confectionery: Check.
Slim-to-None Chance of Ever Having Passed English: Checkcheckcheck.
I'm amused that "chocolate" has enough importance to be capitalized.

I hate the authors who think reviews are only for praise.
The story sucks in the way most of these stories suck, but I have another thought.

What's with shitty country songs being used in SVU FF?

I don't get it.

If you're gonna use a country song, at least use one of the Hanks or Cash or George Jones or Dwight Yoakam or even fucking Dolly Parton. Not Jo Dee Messina. Not Tim McGraw. C'mon people.

Taste- it's your pal.
Hahaha, none of these kids know who those people are, but OMG JO DEE MESSINA IS TEH BEST EVAR didn't you know?

I'm just waiting for one of them to pop out a fic for that really annoying Carrie Underwood song, "Jesus, Take the Wheel" which makes me scream and start punching random buttons on my radio so that it will stop. Playing. You know, it'll be one of those ones where a near miss makes Olivia find salvation, and Elliot realize that he loves Olivia. And her choc- no, i won't go there.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I'm trying to think of some other brown food items to compare Olivia's eyes to.

"Her eyes were like the moldy sludge left over in the coffee filter, the sludge that you forgot to dump after you made coffee so it just sat there for a day and now smells like mildew."

i'm thinking of writing Elliot as an emo kid.

Her eyes were brown, dark brown, the same color that possessed his very soul when he contemplated the harshness of his own life.

Or perhaps a different approach:

Her brown eyes were the same color as the mulch he'd helped Kathy spread in the garden only last weekend. He loved that color.
Mmmmmm mulchy.
Simply put, if you don't like my review, DON'T WRITE ANYTHING ELSE.

For the win.
If you're gonna use a country song, at least use one of the Hanks or Cash or George Jones or Dwight Yoakam or even fucking Dolly Parton. Not Jo Dee Messina. Not Tim McGraw. C'mon people.

Amen.

I was so scared of criticism when I first started writing that I didn't post anything for five years until I was comfortable enough with my work. I wish that authors today had that kind of sense. I now feel like vomiting or poking my eyes out with a rusty nail. Why can't we just...maim them?

Oy vey.
Thanks to your review, and this post, and the fact that I just saw a Doctor Who fic featuring a Hilary Duff song, I will no longer suppress my comments when I read a bad story. No more will I exit quickly from the window and hope to god that it was just a phase. I will be reviewing honestly now (though not overly harshly), with helpful hints and suggestions.

And it's all thanks to you. ^_^
PS HOLY CHRIST SHE IS 23 YEARS OLD.
WTF.