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Long Time No See! [30 Apr 2013|03:20pm]

I have no idea if any of you are still around or even on Livejournal. I'm not normally, but I got an email today that LJ was going to purge one of my accounts if I didn't log in so I logged in. Anyway, just wanted to say hi! It's been years since I've even watched SVU, let alone read any fanfic. Looking through here is a blast from the past! :) Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well!
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[25 Sep 2006|11:57pm]

I'm really hoping this is just a joke...

I Can't read any more.
9 comments|post comment

[25 Aug 2006|11:35pm]

[ mood | distressed ]

You know, it's really a shame what divorce does to men.  Apparently it leaves them "grotesque," with "complementary" bags under his eyes, which he will then try to hide by dressing nice. If there's nothing I hate more than bad writing, it's getting the nice dress to stay put under my eyes....

And then there's poor Cragen, who is so concerned about his squad, he can't be bothered with...what are those things called?....hmmm...stuff?...facts?...news?...oh, right, DETAILS:

Cragen: "Fine, Olivia has a case. Something to do with hookers.”

Stabler: “Isn’t that Vice’s problem?”

Cragen: “Usually, but somehow it wound up in our Jurisdiction. So we have to handle it.”

5 comments|post comment

The Great Brain Does it Again [06 Aug 2006|09:11pm]

[ mood | irritated ]

At least some of the authors we snark on have enough common sense to use their spell check. This was not one of those authors.


I've spent too much time reading things like this lately. At one point I got confused as to whether Olivia was talking to Elliot or this other guy, possibly Elliot's evil twin, named lliot. Is that what you get when The Iliad meets an idiot?

Did you know that FFN has a feature allowing you to report stories with Disregard for Proper Language? This week, I went to church with a feeling of faith for the first time in a long time.

3 comments|post comment

When Authors DESERVE Snark [02 Aug 2006|03:33am]

[ mood | annoyed ]

Let me give you an example of this. Here below is a story for which i left a constructive review. i tried to be positive about what she had (even though it was more or less bullshit) so that she didn't feel like i was attacking her and in response, i got the following:

thank you for your interesting comment. nobody else has had a problem with it
well except you...

i will take your comment into suggestion. simply put if u dont like my writting


the reason i'm the only one who had a problem with it is that evidently i'm the only person with brain cells who read it.

Simply put, if you don't like my review, DON'T WRITE ANYTHING ELSE.

11 comments|post comment

[dusts off the community] [25 Jul 2006|11:13pm]

[ mood | numb ]


3 comments|post comment

We Meet Again [10 Jun 2006|08:26pm]

Just doing a bit of resurrecting in this community. :)


So the writing isn't terrible. The story is a bit...out there.
I got to a certain part in the 2nd chapter (I won't spoil it for you) and had to stop reading. Ew. *shudders*

I got nothing witty to put here...Collapse )
4 comments|post comment

God help us [13 Apr 2006|05:37pm]

So, curious after being "friended" by an SVU fanatic with terrible grammar who "wants to write children's books," I decided to read her story. I'm 99% sure this is a troll, but if not, God help us all. At any rate, this story is just terrible on every level imaginable. And amusing in a twisted sort of way.

By American-Style00, I bring you love american style: a love story

I don't even know where to beginCollapse )
9 comments|post comment

Double Take [06 Apr 2006|01:12am]

[ mood | dead ]

I Heard YouCollapse )

The SVU MusicalCollapse )

5 comments|post comment

Beated with Badfic [27 Mar 2006|03:06pm]

I, oh. I...

I can't pick the worst part. Is it -
"Mike: You can't buy me a hotdog, you're a woman."

Or is it-

"Mike: I'm not married or have any kids. I was going to have a kid but my stupid ex-girlfriend had an abortion against my wishes.
Lucy: Sorry about that. You'll be a great father.
Mike: Really? My mother was an alcoholic and so was my dad, they beated me so much that my bruises stayed on my back for many years.
Lucy: My mother was an alcoholic as well, she beated me as well. She banned me from praying."

I know I like to talk to perfect strangers about the times i got beated.
6 comments|post comment

[23 Mar 2006|12:43pm]

This is too easy... http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2843570/1/
I think our mascot keeps changing her name so nobody can track her down and force her to stop writing.

something new and dramaticCollapse )
5 comments|post comment

happy *bleeping* st. patrick's day everyone! [17 Mar 2006|07:05pm]

A friend of mine decided to add joy to my day by sending me this link:


Olivia is rapped what will the svu squid do when Olivia is about to die?Collapse )
10 comments|post comment

Here i go again [15 Mar 2006|03:09am]

[ mood | confused ]

Seriously? There are. No. Words.

Something Wicked This Way Comes

Uhh... this IS an SVU story, right?

3 comments|post comment

[13 Mar 2006|07:45pm]

[ mood | cranky ]

In retrospect, i know that deep down i was just WAITING for this story to rear its ugly head.

You know how i hate when authors do that annoying thing where other characters played by an actor, or the actor himself, shows up in the fic, and they think they're all cute and clever for doing it?

Well, meet my personal hell: Olivia or Cynthia? Elliot or Mark?

Not only has the entire cast of ER packed up and moved to Boston, but apparently the BPD is not big enough to handle their own cases: they have to call in Manhattan SVU to get the job done.

Edited to add this one too, because apparently this is my day for bad ER crossovers (oxymoron?)

Like Trees in November, in which Maggie Wyczenski (which the author, amazingly enough, spelled correctly) who suffers from a "dual personality" disorder called Bipolar Disorder, gets raped and then swallows a bottle of Advil which kills her in under ten minutes. It gets even MORE unbelievable from there.

4 comments|post comment

I forgot to post this here. Meh. [28 Feb 2006|07:37pm]

[ mood | pleasantly mindless ]

The Aftermath

In a nutshell, it's a string of ridiculous occurrences that would never, ever happen on SVU. Or anywhere else, for that matter. Proceed with caution.

The Secrets We Must Keep

...in which Mary Sue shows us her MAD BILINGUAL SKILLZ.

5 comments|post comment

Fresh batch: [10 Feb 2006|08:01pm]

[ mood | aggravated ]

"Warm chocolate eyes." Like a melted Hershey's bar, lol amirite?

I almost can't bring myself to type this: "HAUNG." [iz ded]

10 comments|post comment

make the hurt stop [24 Jan 2006|10:32pm]

Someone make it die. Please. Brought to you by SVUFREAK1313, this story is the first sign of the apocalypse. It's an SVU "poetry slam." Do I speak for us all when I say WTF?

A few highlights:

"I know, I know, I'm not exactly Ice-T," Fin said. "Man, that guy is cool. I only wish I could rap like him."

Yeah, because the character referencing the actor playing him is just hysterical....right.

"Well, the group of us wrote a poem together," Olivia said. She, Elliot, Munch, Fin, and Casey all stood up and began to recite a poem from memory.

Why, Lord, why?

15 comments|post comment

[24 Jan 2006|05:39am]

[ mood | frustrated ]

some way, somehow, our little friend whatsername has gotten WORSE at writing. Yes, Crusaders, it's true: FLOAT-ON-CLOUD-9 has discovered netspeak, as is evident in the shiny-new Snow flake.

Dear God, It's SpreadingCollapse )

11 comments|post comment

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